Snot and Defiance Equal True Love

Growing older my not be doing my body any favors, but I have found myself to happier with the direction of my mental processes compared to my younger days.  It is really hard to not be too self absorbed in your teens and twenties unless you are quite exceptional.  I suppose the American culture leads us to a lot of self importance we don't quite deserve. 
As I have hinted in some recent posts I have been having some spiritual conflicts and emotional battles.  I am coming to some terms about my relationship with God.  I think I have had some faulty perceptions about my role as His child.  The Gospel teaches full forgiveness and acceptance through Jesus.  I have such a growing love for Him now as I realize what freedom this really offers.  I don't have to focus on my failures and shortcomings.  I don't have to try to "fix" myself before coming to God. 
It is oh so easy to see why Jesus said we need to be like children.  I see the metaphor ring true each day.  When is it the most obvious?  For me it is when the kids are sick, or behaving the worst.
Claire has been really sick this week.  She wakes me up at all hours crying, snot smearing her red little face.  She pukes on me and then promptly wants to cuddle.  She pushes and hits at me in a rage as I try to clean her face of the crusted mucus, but is desperate for me to care for her.  She is needy and clingy, but never once questions that I am nothing less than ecstatic to be meeting her every need.  She has no care that her loud wailing, snot encrusted hair, and slobber covered face don't get her to her most attractive state.  Little does she know that it all actually endears her to me even more. My mommy heart aches at her pain.  I would trade places with her in a fraction of a breath if I could.
The boys are all in a state of transition.  Silas is becoming less of a little boy, and more of a big boy (to his mama's chagrin).  Levi is becoming less of a child each day as he approaches the big ten.  Noah, well Noah is caught up in the middle.  We clash a lot these days.  I am none too happy about it and am in a desperate fight to work it all out.  We are a lot alike in many ways.  He craves love and acceptance but is having trouble with the whole authority and respect thing.  In the midst of any big battle between he and I, I sense that he would still just rather crawl on to my lap.  He isn't quite sure what to do with the little boy trapped in a body that wants to be a man before its time.  I am the safe one for him to push the line with.  I just hope I stay strong for as long as he feels the need to push, and that he still wants to come sit on my lap when it's all over.
I am so thankful that after I push all the limits with God, and rebel against the lines that are there to keep me safe, there will always be a place in His lap for me.