I Might Put My Shoulders Down

Annnnnnnnnd... cue the large sigh.  It's here. It's really here.  A year is gone and Chris is actually done with treatment, and we are left with a good word.  A year ago I was trying to figure out how I could be a single mom.  I was sure this was going to go south.  A year ago I had to tell the boys their dad had cancer.  I realized today that this has been like a pregnancy in a way.  Of course a pregnancy is a much happier event.  Would you believe at least like labor?  Look at it this way.  It has been months of waiting.  Lots of pain.  Now, after the pain, relief and new life.  Like labor, now that it is over I don't really remember how bad it hurt.  At least right now.  I am just so relieved for it to be finished.  Chris had a clean CT scan today, his first scan post chemo.  Chris has "no evidence of viable disease."  We can't say "cure" or "remission".  That's OK.  I am a realist and a skeptic, so I would much rather call it like it is.  The road still stretches before us and we can't see what is around the bend.  A year down the road has taught me a lot.  I am different now but I don't want to be who I was before.  I can hardly believe we got a miracle we don't deserve.  Chris was not expected to do this well.  Witnessing the power of prayer is pretty special.
I have this muscle in my left shoulder that gets very sore when I am stressed or carry something too long.  It is my cue that I need to relax and pay attention to my body.  Today I felt like I could put my shoulders down and release the tension.  If that feeling is just for today, well that is one more day than I have had for a whole year.

Jeremiah 32:17

Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens

 and the earth by your great power

 and outstretched arm.  Nothing is too hard for you.