I have chatty kids. Exceptionally chatty. Levi opens his mouth when he wakes up and the whole day is one long run on sentence for him. He can follow me around the house with a never ending dialogue. I try hard to listen well, but sometimes when my brain is numb from the banter I tend to space out a little; or ask for a five minute break to let my brain rest. Silas can never “give me a minute.” He must finish what he has to say before you can go on to anything else. Noah does not stalk me so much with his need to utilize speech, but he sure has a lot to throw his brother’s way. I tend to be shy in social situations, but when I get a chance to have a “grown up” conversation I do not usually run out of topics. It is really great when we go on road trips. Chris doesn’t say much, so I can get a lot off my chest as we eat up the miles.
So, the other day as we were heading home from church I was noticing the ridiculous and crazy things that sometimes come up in conversation. Words and thoughts collide in mid air as each one tries to get their point across. The volume escalates as someone in the back tries to tell me something in the front, while someone else feels the need to crescendo to preserve their say.
On this day I was so amused at the turns in the conversation I decided to share with you the weirdness that evolves on a car ride with my family. Here is a five minute excerpt of a typical Fontaine car ride. For ease of typing “C” is Chris, “M” is me, “L” is Levi, “N” is Noah, “S” is Silas, and “B” is Claire (baby).
S- “Did you know that God is everywhere?!?!?!”
M-”Yes, isn’t that awesome?”
N-”Yeah, Si! God can be anywhere, and He is everywhere all at the same time. He is right here right now!”
B- “Blag a lala dadada, SQUEEL!!!, badada.”
M-”Do you-” (I have been cut off) Under breath, “I can’t ever finish a sentence.”
S- “Guys!!!” (clapping hands) “God is even in my bloody lip!!”
N- “God is right there on your shoe!”
L- “Mom! What do you call a happy car?”
M- “I don’t know, what?”
L-”A joy-ota!!”
B-”A bla bla!! Ondabla, ahhhhhh!!!”
M-”Very cute Levi.”
Levi and Noah are now in some nonsense banter about a bunch of stupid stuff, and Silas is trying hard to get control of the situation.
S- “God is even in our tires!!!”
C- (laughing) “That’s so funny that he said that!”
M- (non stop kid voices in background) “Why?”
C- “That’s why the Amish won’t use air filled tires. They think it is somehow trapping the Holy Spirit.”
M -”Why do they think that?”
C-”I don’t know, some random verse they have taken out of context.”
S-”Levi!! Can I have that?!?”
C-”I wonder if the Amish can use those new Nitrogen filled tires?”
S-”God is everywhere; He is in my throat!!!”
L- “Mom!! What do cars play with??”
M-”What?”
L- “A toy-ota!!”
M- groan…
N-”Levi! Levi! Levi!”
M-”Levi, would you answer him?” (to Chris now) “Maybe if they use the Nitrogen tires it’s only like trapping part of the Holy Spirit. You know Nitrogen is only a fraction of air.”
N-”Si, you know what’s great? You aren’t hungry in heaven!”
S-”Yeah! If you’re hungry and need a snack, boom!- you get one!”
B-”SHRIEK!!!! A blu blu bla bla bla!!!!”
M-”You know, our kids are nuts.”
C-”Yeah.”
I suppose someday I will miss it all. It will be awfully lonely to drive in a car by myself with only the radio to listen to.
We are a weird family - we Fontaine’s. Hope you enjoyed a moment of our oddity.
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