Down and Dirty Nuts and Bolts

So, I said I would whip up a re-cap of the last year. Since I started all this as a way to chronicle the coming year (that is all I am committing to so far) I should probably let you all in on a review of last year. It is why the coming year is so important. I don’t anticipate many readers of this blog. There are only millions to choose from and I am sure anyone finding mine is truly like finding the needle in the haystack. But, by the off chance you find yourself reading this and wonder why last year was big for our family, well, here you go.

First I think I will have to give you a really quick rundown life leading up to the last year. We have been through a lot of tough events. This I believe was from God. Kind of like runners need to train for the marathon, we had several events that tested us. We got stronger each time. If it weren’t for all that we would have buckled and not recovered for sure. If my story telling was like cake, then this is the cake your 5 year old decorated. It tastes OK, but it isn’t professional and it isn’t pretty.

Ready… set… go!

Chris and I got married in 1995. I was in college. Chris has several jobs from the time we married to when I graduated. I am an RN and got out of school in 1998. After a year of work, we moved to Minnesota for Chris to go to school in Redwing. He is now a luthier. I got to work at Mayo! I loved that job. Our first son was born there three months before we moved back home to Kansas in the summer of 2001. Chris got a job at a violin shop. It is easy for me to find work. I will not bore you with all the jobs I have had. We move on.

Our second son was born in December of 2002. After three years, Chris lost his job at the shop he worked at. It is a long story that I am not going into now. He is on great terms with the shop owner still just so you know. No hard feelings.

After much talk and deliberation and a year of Chris making it by fixing cars we decided to find him another luthier job. We wound up in Nashville, TN in the summer of 2005. Seven months after we moved here we bought a great house in Kingston Springs. A year after coming here Chris lost his job at the violin shop he was at. Another long story with not as pretty of an ending, but it’s OK. Oh, did I mention he lost his job not long after we closed on our house, and I was pregnant with number three at the time? Just to top it off, I was put on work restrictions, then told not to work at all due to pregnancy complications. So he and a couple of other repair guys started their own buisness. I had our third son 5 weeks early in August of 2006. I was in the hospital for 8 days with ruptured membranes. Silas spent 3 weeks in the NICU. Not a part of my life I look back on with warm fuzzies.

A year after the guys went out on their own it fell apart. Chris got a great job at Williams Fine Violins, which is where he is currently. That was divine provision for sure. I worked from the time Silas was one up to right before his second birthday. We home school (gasp!), and working two night shifts a week while taking all that on was killing me. We felt, and still feel, strongly that home schooling is right for our family. So we stepped out in faith and I quit work in the summer of 2008.

So, skip to the early winter of 2008-2009. Chris had some nagging non specific back pain he didn’t think much of. He thought that maybe the chair he had a work was the problem. Then in February of 2009 he started to have some blood in his urine. Later that month he had one of the worst nights he has ever had. Pure agony. He was up all night with intense lower pack and abdominal pain. We finally thought he had kidney stones. I was sick myself. Oh yeah, pregnant again. Not planned, but I was excited. After the shock I was promptly in love with my baby and anxiously waited till I could meet he/she. Anyway, we basically thought we were waiting for the little stones to make there way into the world. Never happened. He did pass some impressive blood clots. Big ones. The next few weeks were long and involved, but here is where we ended up. Chris at the doctor with what we thought were trapped kidney stones and a possible infection. On March 13th of 2009 (our first son’s birthday) Chris had a CT scan. That scan showed a tumor on his right kidney and questionable areas in lymph nodes and his lungs. He eventually saw an oncologist and had a biopsy. The first biopsy was not super conclusive. We were told that Chris had renal cell carcinoma. That it was “everywhere.” In his kidney, lymph nodes, liver, lungs, “everywhere.” We were told that if treatment didn’t work he maybe had to the end of the year. We were told in an incredibly uncaring and cold way. We were told there was one medicine he could try that might work. He could do that for three months and then we would do another CT scan.

To say I felt trapped, overwhelmed, hopeless, well that would be an understatement.

I almost collapsed in the parking garage after that appointment. Chris had to help me to the van.

Needless to say we sought more info. After a second biopsy he was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma. This is usually a bone cancer, and is usually in young people ages 10-20. Chris was 37 at the time of diagnosis and all his cancer has been in the soft tissue. We eventually sought treatment at Vanderbilt and found a sarcoma expert there. We have been thrilled with his treatment.

What I (we) have been through emotionally is gigantic. It is too big to recap on this blog. Ask me sometime and I can go into it with you if you care to know. I learned a lot. God is big, which is why I am typing this today.

Chris started chemo in May of 2009. We had to sell the house we loved in Kingston Springs and move to a rental. In August of 2009 there was a benefit concert for us organized by the amazing people at Chris’ work, and brought to life by a huge list of volunteers. I still don’t know for sure how many worked on that. A great line up of music. And you know who agreed to come??? Allison Krauss. Uh huh, you read it right. Our family has been living on proceeds form a concert and donations from generous people for over 7 months now. Here are my goosebumps again…

Also an amazing event in August was the birth of our fourth child and first daughter!! Claire Elizabeth Fontaine. That baby girl has been the most amazing blessing.

Chris had surgery to remove his right kidney and 21 lymph nodes plus a ton of surrounding tissue in October of 2009.

He finished chemo March 12th, 2010. He had twelve rounds all in 21 day cycles except for the interruption of the surgery.

I have had long days and nights at home alone with the 4 kids. I have not had much help from Chris with Claire. Needless to say I am tired. But we have had an army of people caring for us, providing for us, and reaching out to us. God has been an ever present, strong presence.

If the future is good God will be there and I will praise Him. If the future is bad God will be there and it is my goal to praise Him still.

Sorry that was so choppy. I could make it more eloquent if I had time. Unfortunately I could whine a lot more if I had time too, and no one wants to hear that.

So, let’s see how the next year goes. We kind of feel like we are on an adventure. We don’t really know what will happen. That’s OK, we have practice with that.