Perpetual Lessons

“What have you done?”


“I tried to hold still the day.”

“How?”

“I firmly planted my feet. I raised my right hand against the sun, blocking it’s path across the sky. I lifted my face to the north wind, denying its travel to the south. With my left hand I stilled the western sky, banishing it to an eternal state of pre-dawn darkness and gray dusk. I turned my back to the south, blocking it’s warmth and damming up it’s hot wind. I willed the day to be still, frozen, unchanging. The good in my life would be forever good. While the bad would remain unchanged, no new ills or woes could develop. I would always know what there was and how things are. Nothing unexpected would challenge me.”

“Did you find success in this?”

“I… did not.”

“Did it bring you peace?”

“No. Not true peace.”

“What became of you? You look weary.”

“ My right hand caught fire and became useless. The sun then churned forward in it’s anger from all the new days that had been stolen from it. My left hand became gray and listless; it’s purpose stolen while living in a land of unfinished ends and beginnings. My face became frozen and lifeless - unable to feel or see beauty in anything. My back burned, scorched by a vindictive southern wind - it’s warmth in a fury over countless new lives and growth it had not been able to trigger. I then saw the new mercy I did not receive, the resolution of guilt and trouble, and new challenges that made me stronger. My control was a sham and I never really held anything at bay. I fear pain and loss, but they are inevitable. I wasted my time on trying to stop them when I should have learned how to survive, heal, grow, and then serve. I am so exhausted.”

“Was it for naught?”

“At first it seemed so - but I grow the most when I have been broken. I am dealing with the frustration of this fact.”

“What will you do now?”

“I am digesting new found truths. I am learning to use new strengths.”

“You may regress.”

“I am sure I shall. Soon I will falter, perhaps even stumble and fall.”

“Then what will you do? Will you try to halt the celestial dance again?”

“No. I know I won’t succeed in that. I have to keep getting up. Time does not have the authority to wait for me. I must endure it’s sequelae. But beauty and truth can accompany pain.”

“It is a hard lesson to learn and you will need reminders. There are those that will help you, but when you fight this sort of thing you must be prepared to be attacked. It is… inevitable.”

“I have to train and prepare. I have to surround myself with authentic companions. I have learned some, but also know I have a long way to go. My true hope comes from knowing this life has guaranteed deliverance. When I still myself, and learn to appreciate the rhythm of the heavens, the sun will tell me what it has seen while I slept.”